


Healing Takes Time

by rrajaniemi



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-10
Updated: 2016-10-10
Packaged: 2018-08-20 14:17:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8252170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rrajaniemi/pseuds/rrajaniemi
Summary: Megan and Nikki go to a Detroit Red Wings game.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Megan represents me when im dealing with my mental health problems. Nikki represents my supportive and amazing BFF/girlfriend. Enjoy!

Megan grabbed her pocket knife and started to open it, tears streaming down her cheeks. Then she looked over at her chart and saw 14 strokes of blue paint that marked the 2 weeks she abstained from cutting. She closed her eyes and let herself cry.

*Why am I so worthless? Why do I have to live with these illnesses? Why won't anyone talk to me...*

She put the knife back in her drawer and pulled out a pencil and a notebook, and scribbled a drawing of her dream. Getting to skate with her favorite hockey team. She finished her sketch and stuffed her journal in her bag and slipped on her jersey, ZETTERBERG etched across the back. She grabbed her bottle of prescription anxiety and depression pills. She knew she'd need them because her girlfriend was taking her to the game tonight. She was already scared about going through Detroit, but being in a place with maybe hundreds of people shouting, goal buzzers going off, referee's whistles being blown, and of course her allergy to beef. 

*I'm going to die tonight, I'm going to get shot, or kidnapped and raped, or everyone's going to stare at me since I'll have to wear my mask...*

She took a deep breath and grabbed her mp3 player with her noise reducing ear buds that held her asmr audio to her her calm down. She stuck a bottle of water or two in her bag as well as a pair of non-latex gloves, just in case. She put it over her shoulder and walked downstairs to eat a little bit of early dinner and to take a few safe snacks in case she got shaky. She watched some TV until the doorbell rang. She peeked through the window and squealed as she let her girlfriend in. 

"Nikki!" Nikki grinned and threw her arms around her girlfriend and squeezed her tight. 

"Are you ready?" Megan put on a semi-fake smile and nodded. She ran to her parents office and told them she was leaving. They hugged her and smiled.

"Have fun and be safe! Make sure you call me when you're there and on your way home." Megan agreed and let Nikki lead her to her mom's car. They got in and put on their seat belts. Nikki's mom smiled into the rearview for a second as she pulled out of the driveway.

"Are you excited girls?" Nikki nodded and grinned without hesitation while Megan looked at her feet and nodded silently. Nikki wrapped an arm around her and gave her a kiss.

"Baby I know you're nervous, but it's so fun I promise. Momma even got us passes to meet the players!" Megan's cheeks flushed as she tapped her foot from her anxiety. 

"I-I...thank you." Nikki's mom chuckled.

"You're welcome honey." Nikki squealed excitedly as they pulled into the parking lot. Megan grabbed her squooshy ball and rolled it in her hands to calm herself a little. Nikki helped her out after Megan grabbed her bag. They went inside, got their bags checked to make sure no weapons were present and found their seats. Front row, right behind the bench. They sat down and Megan already started feeling near a panic attack. 

"N-Nikki..." Her girlfriend looked at her and stroked her hair.

"What's wrong love?" Nikki closed her eyes since Nikki was right by her.

"I-I feel like I'm going to have a panic attack already." Nikki was always understanding of her feelings and sorta new what to do. She rubbed her back and Megan kept rolling the ball in her hands taking deep breaths. She finally calmed down enough to open her eyes. 

"And now...here come the Red Wiiiings!" Megan giggled a little at the way the announcer spoke and looked out onto the ice as the boys in red and white came out, sticks in the air in a salute to the crowd and got in their positions. Everyone started getting their food and she immediately put on her mask. Several people stared at her and her fave turned a beet red. Nikki just rolled her eyes at them until they turned back around. The first round was underway, and Megan was enjoying it until they scored a goal. Don't get me wrong, she was stoked, but that sound and everyone screaming was not her cup of tea. She started breathing fast but almost silently so now one could hear, and covered her ears quickly, tapping her foot. Nikki started rubbing her back again until she calmed down. This went on through the rest of the game. On and off she would go into panic mode and started listening to her asmr. As soon as the game was over, Nikki gently grabbed her girlfriend's arm and led her to the locker room after showing their passes. They were the last ones in line so Megan took one of her pills. Once they reached the boys she immediately started hyperventilating. She was so embarrassed about it but she couldn't help it. It hit her so hard and fast. Henrik, the captain and one of her all time favorite players came over and kneeled in front of her.

"Hey, why don't you come sit down? I don't want you passing out." He led both of them to the bench and sat with them while the other boys started to take off their gear. They smiled at both at them, a few noticing her distress. Nikki smiled gently, a little bashful of meeting them. 

"She has panic disorder, anxiety, and depression. She's really wanted to meet you guys but she always declined out of fear and not being able to cover her SI scars." Megan hid in her chest in tears from her meltdown. Hank smiled and grabbed some skates for them. 

"Why don't we all go for a skate. The boys aren't too tired." Nikki helped her lace them and led her to the ice with them. She didn't really know how to skate that well, so she started wobbling. Hank and Nikki grabbed her arms and helped her until she became steady on them. She skated by all of them, receiving high-fives from all of them. When she got tired they returned the skates and they got autographs on jerseys for both of them, from the whole team. Hank's autograph was the best to her. Megan broke down in tears as she read it. 

*No matter what hell you're going through, don't stop. Just keep going, you'll find the light eventually. ~Henrik Zetterberg*

He gave them a hug and smiled. "Just remember that quote whenever you feel down or anxious. We all support you for being active in your healing."


End file.
